Introducing Alyssa Cotton Toborg

After 16 long hours of labor, Alyssa graced us with her presence Thursday, February 27th at 1:56 AM. She entered the world weighing 7 lbs 11 oz (Mommy & daddy's anniversary--July 11th) and measuring 18 1/2 inches long. Travis, my mom and sister were in the room to help. Labor was long, but I am thankful for no complications with myself or Alyssa. Here are a few shots from the hospital.

 Our first few nights home were full of tears, crying, pacing, and bouncing while trying to sooth our sweet girl to sleep. The first few weeks were crazy with lots and lots of visitors. Grandma Jani and Grandpa Tim came down from Minnesota to visit for a few weeks and then Aunt Sara & Uncle Dale came down the next week. Alyssa also got to meet her only set of great grandparents from Minnesota, Grandpa Bob & Grandma Rosemary. She hasn't been here long, but is already loved by so many. She is one blessed little girl!




Fast forward, Alyssa is now one month old! She weighs 9lbs 5 oz and is growing everyday! She is a pretty good sleeper allowing mommy and daddy to get some rest at night. She loves music, to snuggle, be outside, and ride in a car. She also loves to snuggle up in daddy's beard to fall asleep.


Until next time....
Barbara

"Parenthood Eve"

The day is finally here! After 4 years of trying to conceive along with 2 miscarriages, 2 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF transfer, multiple injections and medications, thousands of dollars, heartbreak after heartbreak, millions of prayers, and 39 weeks of a successful pregnancy, we are finally going to welcome our precious baby girl into the world tomorrow. We are beyond excited and filled with so many different emotions. There were moments when I honestly did not think this moment would happen for us, but and thankful I was wrong. God is so good!! If not for everyones constant prayers, constant faith, and positive words we would not be preparing for our little one tomorrow. Alyssa has no idea how blessed and loved she already is by so many people. Our whole world is about to change and be turned upside down.....and we couldn't be more excited!! It only gets better from here.

Until next time......
Barbara

It's been a while....

Where has the time gone. Sorry it's been so long since my last post, it's been kind of busy. 

Travis came home the end of September. YAY!! Mom, Tara, Brandon and I got up bright and early to pick him up at the airport. I could barely sleep the night before because I was so excited to see him and wrap my arms around him. He will be home till November 3rd and then will return just before I have the baby. Prayers that I will go the whole 40 weeks, so he won't have to come back too early. He has planned secret trip the week of my fall break. I can't wait to see what he has planned. Here are a few shots of when we picked him up.

I am now 20 weeks along meaning we are halfway till our baby's debut. I have been feeling much better with the sickness pretty much gone and my appetite is back with a vengeance. I have been having serious migraines, but Dr. Potter says it's normal. We had a big gender reveal party hosted by my mom, sister and best friend, TJ. Trav was in town and was able to attend his first ultrasound. The nurse put the gender reveal sonogram pictures in a sealed envelop and we took it to my mom, sister, and bestie to open when we left. That evening, surrounded by our closest family and friends, it was revealed that we would welcome a precious baby girl in March. I was pretty excited to say the least. Trav had his heart set on a boy, but is coming to terms with having a sweet girl. Now we just have to agree on a name....stayed tuned! 

8 weeks and counting

I went for another ultrasound today to make sure everything was growing as it should and to recheck my levels. My dear Katelyn from Savannah drove up to be with me since everyone else was working or out of town. I was so excited she was there to experience it along with me. Baby Toborg is growing perfectly! Dr. Perloe was just as happy and excited as I was. Baby is measuring on target at 8 weeks and 4 days with a strong heartbeat of 173 BPM. Baby was jumping around and wiggly today and it was so exciting to see it. I just can't wait till I can feel those movements! Since everything was perfect, they sadly dismissed me to my regular OB-GYN doctor. I tried to talked him into delivering for me, but he said all he does is get women pregnant and send them on their way....lol I will miss the amazing staff. They are the sweetest and most supportive team I have ever come in contact with. BUT I am definitely not going to miss that drive. I should see Dr. Potter in the next 10 days once they receive my records and then it will be smooth sailing till March 1st and we get to meet this precious, precious baby!.

Until next time....

BLT & Peanut

Party of 3 coming soon!

Travis and I are happy to announce that after two miscarriages and three years of praying and trying we are pregnant!! The baby is measuring at 7 weeks and 2 days with an estimated delivery date of March 1st, which is the day daddy should be coming home. Perfect timing, right? My mom went with me to the ultrasound and all I could do was smile when I saw the sac and fetus inside. As he zoomed in I saw the flickering of the heartbeat and all I could do was cry tears of joy. We have waited so long for this moment and all I can do is thank God to finally reach this point. It would have been even better to experience it with Travis. We still have a long eight months to go, but we are so thankful and excited. I have not had any complications as I did during the first transfer and I just knew this was going to be our time! Dr. Perloe said that everything looked perfect and the heartbeat sounded good and strong at 132 BPM. He felt very confident that things would progress successfully from here on out. I have another ultrasound next week and after that I should be released to my regular OB doctor.

I want to thank each and every one of you for being such a huge support system for Travis and I over the past three years during our journey to parenthood. I know that without your constant prayers we would not be celebrating today. I am overwhelmed with all the love we have received and can not express how much it means to us.

Until next time....

Barbara & Baby

Peace & Hope

I am once again overwhelmed by the abundance of love, support, prayers, and words of encouragement we've received the past few days. Travis and I are so grateful that we have involved ourselves with so many great people and will never be able to express our gratitude for all your kindness and love.

The past few days have been just awful for me. The news of my unsuccessful pregnancy completely tore my heart into pieces yet again. I consider myself a strong woman and can handle mostly anything. However, I truly thought this long road was over and we were finally going to start our family. But the news of another miscarriage, a rather expensive miscarriage I might add, shattered me and my spirit yet again. For those of you who have never experienced a miscarriage, I would equate it to a death. It's is just like grieving the death of someone you know and love. For me, this means being alone and just getting it out like a baby. So, Wednesday evening and all day yesterday was spent grieving my loss the way that I handle a loss. I began to question everything: maybe I ate something I shouldn't have, maybe I picked up something that was too heavy, maybe I shouldn't have taken that warm bath, maybe I slept the wrong way, maybe there is something wrong with my uterus causing me not to have a successful pregnancy...the questions and scenarios filled my head all day long. I also began to question if IVF will work for us after all the money we have spent. It was a total pity part...I won't lie. I spent all day in bed with the occasional break down when my mind would get to wondering again. I talked about it with a few close girlfriends and my family which helped a little. Last night, Travis forced me to talk about what was going through my head and how I felt. I am so thankful to have him to go through this with. He is my rock when I am shattered and knows when I'm really not "fine" and forces me to discuss what I'm feeling. I get frustrated in the moment, but I'm thankful for his strength when I'm weak. There is nobody else I would go through this with.

I woke up today and had so much peace. I know there is no reason on stressing over something that I can't change or control. I will never know what happened and why this pregnancy was unsuccessful. I have to look at the positive. I am thankful that we have 6 more embryos waiting. I am confident that out of those 6 we will have at least one successful pregnancy lead to a healthy baby if not more. I have to take it one day at a time, but I am a strong woman and I will overcome this bump in our long journey. I use to question God of why I have to go through this, but I know that I am going through it for a reason. He would not put me through it if he didn't think I could overcome it. I have gone through so many different emotional stages throughout this journey. I know now that I am going through this in order to help others who face the same struggles. I have met many different women and some close friends that face infertility issues and I am able to be there for them and offer them comfort and advise because of my experience. As frustrated as I have been with this journey, I know it is so that I can reach out and help others during their time of need.

Am I completely over this second failed pregnancy? Not at all. Will I ever get over my second miscarriage? I'm sure I will one day. Right now, I have peace with what has happened and I am taking everyday one step at a time. I am eager to go to the doctor Wednesday. I am ready to get up, dust myself off and try again.

Until next time....

-BLT

Numb

Well....today was my ultrasound. I tossed and turned all night and didn't get much sleep from being so nervous and anxious of what today may hold. Mom, dad, and Tara went with me this morning for my ultrasound and we received my worst nightmare. Dr. Perloe didn't see a baby. He said that it was possibly an unsuccessful pregnancy and I may have possibly already miscarried. He was worried it may even be an eptopic pregnancy (where the baby is growing in my tubes..which is still not a good thing). I was devastated. I was numb. I was speechless and just wanted to be alone for a few hours. The past few weeks I noticed a few of the pregnancy symptoms (the achy breasts, nausea, extreme fatigue) had stopped. I bought some at home pregnancy test hoping it would ease my mind. I told one last week and one this Monday and both were positive, so I thought maybe I was one of the lucky ones who doesn't get sick. My nurse called this afternoon with my blood results and said that Dr. Perloe said it wasn't a tubal pregnancy and my levels had increased since the last time they checked a few weeks ago. They would have liked them to be a little higher though. They told me to stay on my medication for another week and I go back in a week to recheck and do another ultrasound. There is a slim chance that maybe it was too early. I technically would be 7 weeks tomorrow and I know most women don't normally go until they are at lease 8 weeks. Who knows...I guess we will have yet another hopeful  and nerve wrenching week and see what next Wednesday holds for us. Thanks everyone for being there every step of the way for us...it means so much to us!

Until next time....

-BLT